Me [my testimony].

This is something that thus far only a handful of people know. Up until now I liked keeping it to myself; it's personal, it was hard to talk about, it brings back horrible memories & flashbacks, it triggers a psychological twitch, and I don't like people overreacting. I know that no one will be able to fully comprehend what I went/go through, just like with everyone else and their story, so I won't try to dramatize it to get my point across. I hope you can see what God has done though.



I became a christian when I was 4 years old (don't remember it at all) and grew up in an amazing christian family. I attended church every Sunday, volunteered in the children’s ministry as a small group leader for 2^nd grade boys (best.group.ever.) for 7 years, went through all the motions of Christianity, and about six years ago I almost killed myself. 
Up until 7^th or 8^th grade (I don’t remember which year exactly) it was more of a religion than a relationship to me, though I knew He was real and loved me, etc, etc. In 7th grade (I think?) I reconnected with a friend I had in elementary school. She had claimed to be a Christian, but her life & words didn't reflect it. She was a big influence to me (being one of my only friends at the time) and her negative words & humor were wearing at times. Satan had used a lot of her words as poison against me (unbeknownst to her), and his lies hit deep in my heart. Through hers & others' words, Satan had the perfect opportunity to take me down - and he did. I didn't remember any of this until about two years ago, it had been completely blocked from my memory. The image I always get in my head is him grabbing me by the ankle & dragging me down to him, in his presence (which is not a fun place to be, I might add). I went through about 2 years of depression, during which time I was suicidal. I can’t remember very much about what happened during that time - it’s blocked from my memory - but I remember a few things: I remember basically giving up on God, and because of that, experiencing the unbearable feeling of being completely isolated & alone; separated from God, and unable to feel His presence. No one knew that I battled that, until about two years ago. And even in explaining what happened, no one could ever know the extent of what I went through – I still don’t realize the full extent of it at times. I remember the overwhelming lies of being worthless, hopeless, and a burden to those around me. I remember going over all of the possible ways to kill myself; hanging, drowning, knife, pills, and gun were what dominated my thoughts (by God's goodness we didn't own a gun, or I wouldn't be here). I remember not being able to cut onions, because whenever I held the butcher knife I was overwhelmed with temptation to cut my throat, and that wasn't how I wanted to go. There were times I had to stay out of the kitchen completely because of it. I remember holding a handful of pills in my hand. A split second away from taking them God intervened and stopped me, though I didn’t realize it was Him at the time. And lastly, I remember laying curled up in the shower, sobbing because I had completely hit rock bottom. My options and chances to kill myself grew less efficient, there was seemingly no escape to what was happening, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Here's the thing: even if I reached the point of not wanting to kill myself, I was still constantly be taunted and tempted to do it. There's no way I can describe it, but it's overwhelming and horrifying; demons are real and I was very much in their presence. As a last resort, I gave it up to God and let Him try to fix it. That was the last thing I remember from that time, everything else resulted in healing, growth, and establishing my relationship with Him. I had real faith after that, and I came out not with a religion, but a relationship. I didn’t realize it until about two years ago, but because of all that I went through, I know the true meaning of grace. Had God not intervened, I wouldn’t have had that opportunity, or any other opportunity that He has blessed me with since. And had all of that not happened, I wouldn't be nearly as strong as I am today. I felt guilty & ashamed that it didn't take much to break me, but I'm finding that that's often the case with people who aren't firmly founded in Christ - the enemy has a powerful hold on them, but not one that God can't break. The more solid your faith & relationship with God, the harder it is to break you.





This next part I remember more clearly, as it happened almost 2 years ago. It was during this time that I began remembering & uncovering all that had happened seven years ago. I had gone and seen a movie with a youth group called To Save A Life (fantastic movie), which was about teen suicide and hearing & listening to the cries around us, and being Christ’s agent in in reaching out to them.  I remember feeling pretty strongly towards it, but I linked that more with my, at that time, significant other, who was recently (before we met) suicidal & still dealt with depression at times. We broke up less than a month later, and during that time I started, through a lot of prayer, remembering more of what had happened to me seven years ago. I had told 2 of my closest friends about that time, and some pretty cool things came of it. Through the next 3 or so months I uncovered more and more of what had happened, and discovered how powerfully God worked during that time, and all He had done through it. Because of that, Satan was super angry, and during those 3 months I went through constant spiritual warfare; as great, if not greater, than what I went through seven years ago. I wasn’t suicidal, however, though Satan tried tempting me in that way several times. Because I had a more solid faith this time around, it went very differently. But I was completely spiritually & emotionally exhausted for those 3 months. All energy was being used to defend against the enemy, and it was beginning to wear on me. From the beginning I started to have little anxiety attacks, during which I had more difficulty breathing, resulting in my body jerking forward trying to breath. I battled through more depression as well, as the enemy used what had happened seven years ago to condemn me. 
Towards the end all I would do was sit in my closet, listen to music that applied to that time in my life & what I was going through, pray, and try to breath. Listening to that music towards the end wasn’t the wisest of things to do, as it was no longer an encouragement for what God had done, but instead became a way for Satan to condemn me and pull me down, just a little at a time. I had grown so tired in every sense of the word, that I was about done. Because I was so ready to be done, I think I inadvertently tried to take away God’s control, and take it upon myself to end things. That worked out super well. During the last week of this battle, things grew a bit more severe. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I had absolutely no energy (part of that was because I was also in a huge health battle), and I spent more time in my closet, listening to music, praying, and jerking for breath. The last day of this I remember the clearest. Throughout the span of the day I had done the closet routine 3-4 separate times, and was then so exhausted & weighed down that I was in tears most of that day. Something to know about me: I can’t/don’t cry. Part of the reason being cause I hardened my heart after everything happened seven years ago (God's been working on that), and I'm just not emotional. I have to be super tired, my blood sugar usually has to be low, and I have to be completely overwhelmed to do so. And even then, it’s short lived and un-releasing. During the last hour or so of this things were unbearably heavy. That feeling of being overwhelmed and taunted & tempted by Satan and his demons, while they shouted their lies was ever present. God gave me another boost of strength & truth, which carried me through the battle and helped me rise above all that I had been struggling over. I was finally coming out of the battle that I had been in for months, and Satan was not happy. As a final push and last resort, he sent a powerful demon my way, or maybe it was him himself, I don’t know. But whatever it was, I could physically feel it screaming inches from my face, demanding that I kill myself. I officially lost it at that point, surrendered it all to God, and cast it out in His name. Unsurpassing peace flooded over me the second it had left. I could physically feel God’s arms wrapped around me directly after that.



Through all that, God taught me what grace is, what it means to truly rely & depend on Him, how to have peace & trust in Him, and give Him control. I've developed a passion for words & people being aware of how they can affect people, I've realized a love of hearing peoples testimonies & seeing how God has worked in their lives (no matter how small it may seem), I've discovered a love of listening to people talk about what they're going through (and giving feedback if the time calls for it), I've become a prayer warrior, truth speaker & spiritual warfare veteran as me mum & I say, and I've formed beautiful scars that are a reminder of God's truth.
I'm reminded every day of what God has done in my life - through flashbacks of demons, or straight up demon attacks - and I'm reminded of how powerful & wonderful He really is. God has blessed me with reminders for me every day; whenever I hear a train whistle, or see a Camaro, or pass a llama, I'm reminded of His promises & love for me. I still face & deal with a lot of spiritual warfare, but God has been doing amazing things through it all. 


Psalm 18:16-19
" 16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. 17 He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. 18 They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the Lord upheld me. 19 He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me."


I am not an accident; a masterpiece; chosen; worth dying for; new; forgiven; free from condemnation; blameless in God's sight; perfect in God's sight; holy; God's possession; loved; accepted; adopted; a child of God; a temple of the Holy Spirit; being healed; sealed forever; never alone; Jesus' friend; worth protecting; rich; able through Jesus; adequate; not hopeless; a winner; sent by God; a light to the world; going to be perfect; going to live forever; a citizen of heaven; me.

A Citizen of Heaven.

Philippians 3:20
" 20 But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for Him to return as our Savior."

cit·i·zen/ˈsitizən/

A legally recognized subject or national of a state or commonwealth, either native or naturalized. An inhabitant of a particular town or city. in·hab·it·ant/inˈhabitnt/ Noun: A person or animal that lives in or occupies a place. A person who fulfills the requirements for legal residency.

I love that. I realize that most of my posts have started with me expressing some sort of fondness of the subject, but they're just all so great. I love the image that the second definition of inhabitant gives: A person who fulfills the requirements for legal residency. Through Christ's death on the cross and the gift of salvation, He has fulfilled the requirements for "legal" residency in heaven for us. We're citizens of heaven. I don't think I've really stopped to think about that... we're recognized subjects there, only we don't have to get jury duty! And it's not like in a town or country where you're citizens, but no one really knows you; the King Himself knows you by name & knows everything there is to know about you. We have a place there waiting for us for when He calls us home.
Also, I love that: home. We're not just citizens of heaven, but it really is our true home. And I am looking forward to the day He calls us home <3

Going To Live Forever.

John 11:25-26
" 25 Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die like everyone else, will live again. 26 They are given eternal life for believing in me and will never perish. Do you believe this, Martha?"



There's really not much to say about this, it's pretty self-explanatory. But how cool is that? Do we ever stop to really think about it? I know I don't that often... but what a precious gift! Eternal life with our Savior. Eternal. My mind can't fathom eternity without boredom, but that's what it's going to be. Do you know how many hugs you can acquire in an eternity? INFINITY! An infinite amount of hugs from Jesus.... Um, yes. Sometimes I think about what eternity would be like, and it almost worries me. The thought of how many times I could fail or mess things up in that time is daunting. And then I'm reminded that there will be NO mistakes, NO heartache, NO sin, NO pain, NO lust, NO greed, NO murder, NONE of that stuff, which makes it even more unfathomable, but so much more exciting. As God's children, we get to spend an eternity with Him, worshiping & exalting Him, giving Him all the praise He deserves. How neat is that?









TO INFINITY, AND BEYOND!!!

Going To Be Perfect.

Philippians 1:6
" 6 And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again."




This one is hard for me, cause I really can't picture myself ever being able to be perfect. I struggle with my attitude, I'm selfish, I can be super lazy & unmotivated, I hate, I don't always do what God tells me to, etc. And that's not including the physical imperfections I've got going on; my spine is twisted, my hips give out constantly, my hips & pelvis & sacrum get misaligned super easily, I can't run or hop without my ankles snapping, my gut is all screwed up, etc. Nothing about those things shout perfection to me, and I honestly can't imagine there being a time when there's not some sort of pain or issue going on. The beautiful thing though, is that it's not dependent on my imagination. When Christ returns and calls us home, we will be made perfect.

Philippians 3:21
" 21 He will take these weak mortal bodies of ours and change them into glorious bodies like His own, using the same mighty power that He will use to conquer everything, everywhere."


That's just a picture of the physical transformation that He'll do with us, imagine the rest! No more selfishness, no more anger, no more hate, no more jealousy, no more fear, no more temptation to give into, no more lust, no more greed, no more hurt, no more death. I'm excited to see what that will be like, though by the time it happens, I probably won't be thinking about it too much =]

A Light To The World.

Matthew 5:14
" 14 You are the light of the world - like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see."


Matthew 5:15-16
" 15 Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. 16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."


Luke 8:16
" 16 No one would light a lamp and then cover it up or put it under a bed. No, lamps are mounted in the open, where they can be seen by those entering the house."




This ties in with yesterdays identity truth. We have a glorious purpose - being a light to the world! This brings me joy. I love what it says in Luke 8:16, "No one would light a lamp and then cover it up". If you think about it, it's really quite absurd. Why the heck would you bother to light the lamp if you're going to just cover it up? It's such a good reminder for us to not do the same with this incredible light that God has given us.
I grew up in a christian family, was home schooled from 3rd grade on, and just about always had christian friends. Since I was so immersed in that kind of setting, it's somewhat of a stretch for me to imagine being the only light that someone has ever encountered, but there's a chance that's true. It reminds me of 1 Peter 4:16-18. I'm not entirely sure if anyone else will see the correlation, but that's what came to mind. We ought to be shining God's light for everyone to see in every moment. He has equipped us with everything we need to do so. I love the thought of His joy exploding from us in such a powerful way that shows others how amazing God really is. God does such incredible and unique things in & through us as individuals that glorify His name. This is why I love hearing peoples testimonies so much (if you didn't already know that, I LOVE peoples testimonies!), because with each person, there's a unique story, that uniquely shows who God is and how amazing His love for us is, and how mighty of a God He truly is.



This is my favorite song by Needtobreathe, and every time I hear it I'm reminded of what God has done in my life and how much of an impact it can have on others, even if I don't feel like it will be.

Sent By God.

2 Corinthians 5:20
" 20 We are Christ's ambassadors, and God is using us to speak to you. We urge you, as though Christ Himself were here pleading with you, "Be reconciled to God!"




This is probably a close second to the Being Healed day. For me, being sent by God gives me worth; it gives me a purpose. I love that Christ didn't just create us & loves us, but He gives us a purpose. I was talking with one of my friends a while back (during some hard stuff) about how much I love that we're so precious to God & have so much worth in Him, and she had said something to the extent of, "That's something I feel like a lot of people mistake, which is really dangerous, because really, we don't have any worth compared to Jesus. I mean, He's God, He doesn't need us. Christians keep saying, 'we're worth so much', but we're not actually worth that much, but God still chose to save us." Not exact words, but something to that extent. That kept bouncing around in my head for a long time, and I finally came to the conclusion that it isn't true. God doesn't create worthless things.

Psalm 139:13-16
" 13 You made all of the inner, delicate parts of my body and knit me together in my mothers womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - and how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark if the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."


God fearfully and wonderfully made us. He made us with a purpose, He called us, He crafted us, everything for His glory. But our sin interferes with that, and makes us ineffective and keeps us from that intimacy with Christ. Because of what He did on the cross, He sees us as He sees His own Son; fully worthy, fully loved, fully acceptable. By no means do we deserve what He did for us, but He finds us worthy because of it.
2 Timothy 1:9
"It is God who saved us and chose us to live a holy life. He did this not because we deserved it, but because that was His plan before the world began - to show His love and kindness to us through Christ Jesus"
We were each created for a specific reason, each of us given a unique blend of gifts & abilities & personality to live out that/those reason(s). God can use us in unique and powerful ways. NEVER forget or nullify what God can do through you. It's by His power, not our own, and He can do powerful things that we could never imagine or hope to attain.

A Winner.

Romans 8:37
" 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."




We are victorious through Christ. I can't even verbalize how much joy this gives me...
The lyrics from In Christ Alone have been going through my mind all morning after I read that verse:

    "No power of hell, no scheme of man
         can ever pluck me from His hand.
             Til He returns, or calls me home
                  here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

Have you ever stopped to think about that? All of the evil powers and forces of hell cannot separate us from God & His love. They can beat us bloody and try with all of their might to take us, but as God's children, they have NO authority over us. Christ, who conquered death, shares His victory in that with us, His children, so that we can be with Him eternally. It doesn't get much more victorious than that...

Stop for 30-60 and think about that though. We are victorious over the powers of hell; the lies, the deceit, the pain, the demons, and Satan himself. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful that really is. We are winners =]

Not Hopeless.

Romans 15:13
" 13 So I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in Him. May you overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."




We are not without hope! I love this so much I don't even know how to describe it. No matter what crap, heartaches, persecution, spiritual warfare, loss, stress, or hardship we endure, we always have the hope of Christ with us. I love that He reminds us of this as well. Whether it be through a hard time, or a joyous occasion, He always seems to find a way to remind me of the hope that I have in Him, every day. We have such a generous God, and I love that this is one of the things He gives to us abundantly. Through Him we have hope in eternity with Him; hope to make it through each day, whether good or bad; hope in overcoming our weaknesses and disabilities; hope in making a difference.The lyrics from Trading My Sorrows keep going over in my head:
"I am pressed, but not crushed; persecuted, not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. I am blessed beyond the curse, for His promise will endure, and His joys gonna be my strength".

Also the lyrics from Jesus Messiah:
"All our hope is in you. All our hope is in you. All the glory to you, God. The light of the world."

Adequate.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5
" 4  We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. 5 It is not that we think we can do anything of lasting value by ourselves. Our only power and success comes from God."

So often I feel like when we're given a job to do that doesn't meet our natural skill set, or that's out of the norm, or that's really important, we don't feel adequate enough to do it. I know for me, when I'm given something to do that I'm not used to, I don't want to do it usually because honestly, I don't want to fail or be judged on my non-ability to do something. There's a moment usually when God asks me to do something like that, where I'll be like, "Nope, don't wanna do that, Lord.", and every time He will gently remind me that I'm not the one in control, He is, and He has a plan in everything. Everything we need--every tool, every skill, every ability--to fulfill God's plans & purpose for Him is given to us by Him. He provides us with the necessary abilities to carry out His plan. It's like David. Scrawny lil' shepherd dude defeated a giant that an army couldn't take out... with a flippin' strap and rock. What? God gave him the strength & ability. How neat is that? And if it's something that's completely out of character or skill set for us, how much more glory goes to God for making it happen?

Able Through Jesus.

Philippians 4:13
" 13 For I can do everything wit the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need."



I came to the conclusion several years ago that when I try to rely on my own strength, I usually end up failing miserably. And yet I still keep returning to the place where I try to rely on my own strength, rather than relying on God. Reason being: the feeling of being in control over something. I really struggled with control issues on certain things for a while. God has done some significant work in my heart over the past few years, and taking away a lot of the desire to be in control over things has been a great part of it. He's shown me that when I'm "in control" I rely on my own "strength" too much, which leads to chaos & disaster, and has left a lot of damage in it's proverbial wake. He's brought to my attention that when I step back, trust Him & give Him all control, and rely on His strength, everything goes as it should. It's hard & painful at times, but the end result is significantly better. If I relied on my own strength, I wouldn't be here right now. Through relying on His strength, I've gained an immeasurable amount of insight, peace, joy, understanding, forgiveness, etc. I honestly don't know what I would do if He didn't give us the strength we needed on a day-to-day basis. How amazing is He for that? He provides EXACTLY what we need. Not what we necessarily want at times, but what we NEED. That's such a good illustration of His incredible love for us.

Rich.

2 Corinthians 8:9
" 9 You know how full of love and kindness our Lord Jesus Christ was. Though He was very rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that by His poverty He could make you rich."


When I think of the word "rich" two things come to mind instantaneously: 1) A pile of gold, and 2) Chocolate. However, both are completely worthless. It's hard to wrap our minds around that sometimes, especially the chocolate part for me. We have richness that goes beyond any amount of chocolate or wealth: salvation & eternal life through Christ. God gave up all of His riches to become human; He became poor for our benefit, the benefit of the poor, so that we may gain the richness of salvation & eternal life with Christ. And not only that, but He gives riches in other ways as well, through peace, joy, comfort, knowledge, faith, wisdom, etc. All of which are worth more than any amount of money or chocolate could purchase.

Worth Protecting.

1 Peter 1:5
" 5 And God, in His mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting Him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see."

Psalm 18:16-19
" 16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. 17 He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. 18 They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the Lord upheld me. 19 He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me."



Psalm 18:16-19 is one of my all time favorite verses. It perfectly describes many times in my life, and how much God finds me worth protecting - even when I don't feel like I am. He was mocked, tortured, and killed because He loved us so much and found us worth protecting. Every day He is watching over us, protecting us from the evils of the world, and the evils that aren't from this world. And even though we suffer and endure many trials, He's still protecting us constantly; I'm reminded of this daily. Seriously, just stop for 60 seconds, ask God to quiet your mind & give you insight, and really think about how He has/is protecting you.

protectingpresent participle of pro·tect (Verb)

Verb:

Keep safe from harm or injury: "he protected her from the attack"; "certain vitamins may protect against heart disease". Aim to preserve (a threatened plant or animal species) by legislating against collecting or hunting.

God loves us in a way that's more than we could ever imagine, and with that, He finds us worth protecting more than we can realize. 

Jesus' Friend.

John 15:15
" 15 I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn't confide in is servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me."



This is one of my favorite things ever. I know I say that a lot, cause basically everything God as to offer is spectacular, but this really is one of my favorite things that He does, for certain. I love that He's not just a God who tells us to worship Him & not break His rules (though those are rather important things), but He wants a relationship with us; He desires friendship with us. This is an image a lot of people struggle with, I've found.
Here's an image of what my earthly friends & I do: We have deep conversations, we laugh.. A LOT, we have some of the dumbest conversations that don't even make sense, we eat food together, we hug a lot, we dance, watch movies together, etc.
Here's an image of what my heavenly friend & I do: We have deepest conversations, we laugh.. A LOT, we have some of the dumbest conversations that don't even make sense (that's really just on my end though), we eat food together, we hug a lot, we dance, watch movies together, etc.
I think a lot of times we picture God as this stale, somber man, and we forget that He's the author & creator of joy, and He wants to share that with us. And not only that, but He's also the author & creator of us, and He deeply desires that personal relationship with us. I love that. I love that He has great conversations with me, whether they be super deep or just me being super dumb; I love that He dances with me, whether it be graceful & just lovely, or flailing around like a mad woman; I love that He watches movies with me, and how conversations, insight, and truth come out of it; I love that He holds my hand or hugs me when I need it most, and that I can physically feel His hand in mine and His arms around me; I love that He's a God who desires a personal relationship/friendship with me even more than I do, which just kind of blows my mind...


So, these songs aren't the most biblically accurate, but they were the first ones to come to mind, and most of the lyrics apply. Plus, they're great songs =]

Never Alone.

Matthew 28:19-20
" 19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."



I love looking back on everything I've been through and seeing the evidence of God being with me. Even in a time when I abandoned Him & could no longer feel His presence, the evidence that He was there is overwhelming, and I'm a reminder of that every day. One of the first images I got when I read that verse was the Footprints in the Sand poem, followed by this:

Regardless of the situation or time (whether it be loss of pet, getting engaged, losing your job, getting a kitten, loss of a loved on, winning the lottery, battling for custody, petting a llama, dumb elections, etc) God is constantly with us. He will never leave us. Stop and think about that for 1 whole minute. People will tell us that they will never leave us, and they do, because they're human. But this is God's promise to us, His children: He is with us always and He will never leave us. It's the greatest depiction of love there is, and He gave it to us.

"After all this time?" "Always."

Sealed Forever.

Ephesians 1:13
" 13 And now you also have heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, He identified you as His own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom He promised long ago."


When I was but a wee tween, I went to the dentist to get dental sealant put on my teeth. Dental sealant is clear protective coatings that cover tooth surfaces and prevent bacteria and food particles from settling into the pits and grooves. After that I felt invincible & able to eat any sugary substance without worry of getting cavities, which, I never really had before, but I still felt invincible! 
Dental sealant was the first thing that came to mind when I read "Sealed Forever", because like dental sealant, we are sealed forever... in Christ. God's sealant isn't for keeping cavities out, though, and it's not made possible with that weird plasticy stuff, but by the blood of Christ. When Christ died, He overcame death and made it possible for us to enter into His kingdom, forgiven & free from all sin; being sealed forever in Him. It reminds me also of I'll Stand By You. "Nothing you confess can make me love you less, I'll stand by you". Because we're sealed forever in Christ, there's nothing we can do that will make Him love us less; nothing we can do that will cause Him to break His promise to us. Keep on repenting, keep on declaring Christ as Lord, and keep on remembering His promise's to us.

Romans 8:37-39

" 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We are sealed, people.

Being Healed.

Psalm 147:3
" 3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds."

Ephesians 3:20
" 20 Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."


This is probably the subject that hits the closest to home for me. I've been through a lot - emotionally, spiritually & physically - within the past 5 years; the past 2-3 years especially. 2 years ago God partially unblocked a traumatic occurrence that happened 5 years, and I've been wading through all that surrounded it since. And because I was able to remember what had happened, Satan threw a spiritual semi-truck at me to discourage me from giving God the glory He deserved. God has done an immeasurable amount of healing in me over the past 2 years, and I've formed beautiful scars that glorify God in all of His splendor. I've come to a place where I feel fully healed from where I've been, and though wounds still seep & flashbacks occur, God's got some pretty cool bandaid's of healing in His arsenal =]

Physically, He's brought me from a time & place when my body was constantly rejecting foods; I could eat only 13 different things (most of them vegetables) with only one source of protein, and along with that terribly low blood sugar, a leaky gut, mild sleep Apnea, twisted spine, etc. Needless to say, He has done some overwhelmingly powerful physical healing for me. I'm reminded every single day of God's healing in my life, whether it be past or present, and I love showing what He has done =]

A Temple of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 3:16
" 16 Don't you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?"

1 Corinthians 6:19
" 19 Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,"


When reading/hearing about being a temple of the Holy Spirit, I'm used to 1 Corinthians 6:19 where it talks about as individuals we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, but the verse in 1 Corinthians 3:16 put it in a different context, and honestly confused me for a bit. Not only are we as individuals the temple for the Holy Spirit, but we as the body of Christ are also the temple of the Holy Spirit. It really shouldn't have been so confusing for me. I love that though. The Holy Spirit dwells in us. God didn't send the Holy Spirit to live just on earth, but to live in US. How neat is that? And not just us as individuals, but us as the body of Christ. It's so simple, and  just so neat =]

A Child of God.

1 John 3:1
" 1 See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for He allows us to be called His children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are His children."




I love that, "And we really are!". I the love joy the writer has in exclaiming that; we're God's children, it's something to be excited about! I often compare the similarities to our heavenly Father and earthly fathers, and it always makes me smile & reminds me of how much of a Father He really is. Some of the verses that always comes to mind with that are in Hebrews 12.

Hebrews 12:5-6
" 5 And have you entirely forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, His children? He said, 'My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when He corrects you. 6 For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes those He accepts as His children."

and...


Hebrews 12:10-11
" 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in His holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way."

and also...

Hebrews 12:7
" 7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as His own children. Whoever heard of a child who was never disciplined?"


It always confused me when people thought God didn't love them because they felt like He was punishing them. It sucks hardcore, and hurts beyond belief sometimes, but without discipline & correction, there's no growth. I'm glad that we have a Father who loves us enough to correct us and increase our growth, and I love that He walks next to us the whole way as well.
Also, I love that we have a Father who doesn't play favorites. This is something I was blessed with to have on earth, and I love the example that Ada (daddy) has set for us; it's a wonderful thing to see someone imitate God's character.


Also, also, if you do happen to listen to Adventures in Odyssey, you should go listen to The Secret Keys of Discipline, case #20 A Journey of Choices =]


And once again, I leave you with this:

Adopted.

Ephesians 1:5
" 5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave Him great pleasure."

Galatians 4:5
" 5 God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children."



I love adoption. If I were to ever have kids, I would adopt. I always thought it was funny how adoption was used in a negative light when it came to humor in movies. Lines such as, "Nobody loves you. You were adopted!" I feel like if anything, it would be the other way around (not that there should be favorites at all...). They're trying to illustrate it as if the person who was adopted doesn't belong because they're not blood related, which I realize probably happens a lot. But I always pictured it as this: there are thousands, if not millions, of children who are up for adoption, and you specifically choose a certain one(s). And they're that special one(s) for that family. That's like what God did, but He took it so much further than that. He - the King of Kings, Creator of all, Savior, etc. - adopted us to be His children. He knew us before we were born, knew all of the crap we were/are going to pull, and He still welcomes us to be His children. He makes His home in our hearts and welcomes us into His. How great is that?

Accepted.

Romans 15:7
" 7 So accept each other just as Christ has accepted you; then God will be glorified."


I feel like way too often we fight for peoples acceptance of us; of our clothes, our humor, our personalities, our looks, our lingo, our tastes, our faith, our hobbies, etc. It's human nature to want to belong with people; to fit in & be apart of something; to be acknowledged & loved. I find it sad that we feel like we need to fight for that, whether it be a little or a lot. I feel like especially for christian's, we try to be accepted by the world a lot of the time, but we don't need to - we're set apart from the world. And even if we're not seeking the acceptance of the world, there's still that desire to be accepted by someone. And a lot of the time we seek that acceptance out through a relationship. The thing that I love so much is that we simply don't need to. We don't need to seek out the acceptance of others; it's offered to us freely by Christ, who is above everyone out there combined. We don't need to try to be accepted by Him, have you ever stopped to think about what means? The lyrics that went through my head when I read that verse were from Amazing Love, "I'm accepted, you were condemned". I love that. He, the dude who made EVERYTHING - time, earth, the universe, us, existence, etc - and knows all of our sins, even the ones that haven't happened yet, fully & wholeheartedly accepts us.

The song below is one that's really close to my heart and effects me in a powerful way. It's one of the songs in my truth playlist that reminds me of what Christ has done in my life, and how incredible He really is.

Loved.

1 John 4:16
" 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in Him. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them."

John 3:16
" 16 For God loved the world that He gave His only son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."


I feel like this is what ties all of the other identity pieces together: God's love.
There's a specific Adventures in Odyssey episode that I think of when I hear the words "God's love". In case  #4 Puns, Parables, and Perilous Predicaments, there's an episode entitled The Greatest of These. In it Connie, Pamela, Robyn, and Oscar have a bible study and hear the word "agape" in regards to God's love. Throughout the rest of the episode they are trying to find out what the word "agape" means. Through a series of events, Whit feels it is best to simply tell Robyn what it means: "Agape is unconditional love. Now that means you love somebody no matter what. Not just if they're as smart as you, or act the way you want them to, and not just if they have a handicap. It means you love them, even when they don't deserve to be loved." Unconditional love; to love someone, even when they don't deserve to be loved. That's God's love EXACTLY. With the crap that I pull every day, I sure as heck don't deserve to be loved the way that God loves me. And yet He still offers His love to me, with no strings attached, and no hidden fees. That blows my mind...

God's Possession.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
" 19 Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."




I could go off of this in so many different directions. Here's the image that I get when I hear "You are God's possession": I see me, curled up in the fetal position at the top of my bed on my seven pillows, comforter, Batman baby quilts, blankies & stuffed hippo (yes, I still sleep with blankies & a stuffed hippo, and they are marvelous comfort items), and just being in God's presence; being blanketed with peace & joy while wrapped up in His arms. Being surrounded by His truths: He delights in me; He gleans even more joy out of that time than me (which I still can't see possible); He loves it when I come to Him & just sit at is feet; He loves me; I AM HIS. This is not a property claim. It's not like when some dude fancies a lady, claims her, and then gives her father a goat in exchange. He didn't give a goat, He gave His freakin' life.
This is just simply, I AM HIS. I'm His child, His stupid little sheep whom He loves, His bride, His love; I am His. I just don't know how to fully explain that, but it is wonderful, and it's just about one of my favorite things EVER.

He dwells in us; we are His temple. This is something I feel like we don't really think about all that often, or at least I don't. Something to be praying about, and asking God how we can improve =]

Holy

Colossians 3:12
" 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

ho·ly/ˈhōlē/

Adjective:

Dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred: "the Holy Bible"; "the holy month of Ramadan". (of a person) Devoted to the service of God: "saints and holy men"

Or as my iTouch dictionary puts it:

I love that description. We belong to God; we're His children, and we belong to Him. He CHOSE us to be His children, knowing our sins and all that we've done, and knowing how much we would hurt Him, He still chose us to be His holy people. How flippin' great is that?! That's such a beautiful picture of His love for us, I love it =]

Perfect in God's Sight

Hebrews 10:14
" 14 For by that one offering He perfected forever all those whom He is making holy."

Philippians 3:12
" 12 I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be."


The second part of the second verse has always stood out to me. It brings me hope. I know that I'm not perfect, no where near it in fact, but through the power & grace of God I can continue in my quest to achieve perfection; to achieve godliness. I know I'll never get there while I'm here, but I also know that God has reserved perfection for me when I go home, for all of eternity.

Blameless in God's Sight

Ephesians 1:4
" 4 Long ago, even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes."

Colossians 3:1-15
" 1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your* life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.5 So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. 6 Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming.* 7 You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. 8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. 9 Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. 10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. 11 In this new life, it doesn't matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile,* circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized,* slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful."



Okay so I'm sick & exhausted, and my brain turned off about 2 days ago, which makes it nearly impossible to form word fragments, so not much will be said in this one. Plus this was a harder one to comprehend for me, cause I definitely don't see myself as blameless in any sense of the word. So I talked to Ada to word it in a way for me to understand. This is what he said (which is probably what I would have eventually ended up saying, had my brain not quit on me):

Because He see's us as cleansed by the blood of Jesus. When you believe in Jesus, you are cleansed by His blood, and so that's how He see's us; He see's us through the eyes of Jesus. "We are clothed by His righteousness"

Isaiah 61:10
" 10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!  For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit  or a bride with her jewels."